Spiders of guilt scurried up my spine
And settled into my heart to feed upon me,
Reminding me of my trysts with Sin.
A life decorated with martinis and guns,
Regular treat of slit throats;
Surrounded by nymphets and sylphs,
Plunging hearts like delicacy.
Sybarite, I was, a lover of fun
Well-known bleak dire scallywag;
Red painted days and nights
Spent in nefarious court of Crime.
Pulverizing in austere gaze of Death,
Hallucinations of my abominable past-
Help the arachnids to delve insanely deep
Annihilating my repenting soul,
Guiding it to the doors of Hell.
- Vaisakhi Mishra
Hey, Hi
ReplyDeleteToo much of bloodshed!!! aahh...
why so dark? hmm, anyways, a good one...
the first stanza had a nice feel to it, it was beautifully sculpted, but after that it feels like a build up around the first one, as in a supporting lines type...when read individually, they are good, but together, theres a link missing...
:)
overall, nice...if possible, try to polish it a bit, would come up excellently well...
Regards,
The Silhouette...
Terror Stricken !
ReplyDeleteNice efforts ..
@silhouette- ya i know its too dark n a hell lot of blood filled thought...but then i had a prompt 4 this one...spiders of guilts n it had to be a prose poem...somethin not at all my type...but well i love exprmntin n some penned this down...surely would try polishin it..but dont know if i would be able to do justc...like its not easy to think tat ways again...:)....neways thanku 4 ur commnt n advice always love the way u criticlly analyse stuff...:)
ReplyDelete@simran- hope it didnt scare u much.....:P....thanku 4 ur commnt...:)
ReplyDeleteAs I said before its a dark poem yet a wonderful one...nice choice of words....
ReplyDeleteand I won't write more as it is you know my views :)
Take Care.
@fatima.....:)....thanku....n ya i do know ur views..:P
ReplyDeleteBrilliant stuff. Enjoyed the read.
ReplyDelete@jagdish bali-thanx n welcome to my blog...:)
ReplyDelete@rohan-thanx...hope no more of this sort come up...:P
ReplyDeleteWoha..loved it like anything..the words are truly sinful :)
ReplyDelete@alcina-thanku so much........:)
ReplyDeleteNice one! :D
ReplyDeleteCheers,
@tanvi-thanku...:)
ReplyDelete